Life is a bitch!

..they say. What ever it means. And yeah, the title has nothing to do with the rest of this writing.


When someone hurts you, when someone treats you bad. When someone doesn´t give a crap about others but just takes what he wants and does what he likes. And when in response to that you decide to let go, to not get even, to humble yourself, to do the "right" thing, to be the nice guy. Why do u do that? Do you do it because you think it just is the best way to act, the right way to live? To love one another, to respect others, to be nonselfish, to give flowers when someone gives you crap. Do you do it because you honestly believe it is the only right way to live this life?


Or.


Do u think that he who does wrong can´t really REALLY be living a happy life enjoying all the stuff he´s got knowing he has caused a lot of misery to others, or just lived against his own principles? That his conscience can´t be calm, that it must be eating him inside and the "good life" he´s showing outside is just an empty shell? Or, that eventually life will get even with those who mistreat others, or even if the life doesn´t, God eventually will. So you live your life "the good way" and humble yourself knowing that one day the justice is going to happen and the bad will get what the bad deserve.


But.


What if?


What if the guy being selfish a-hole and getting rich from other peoples backs honestly is feeling good about it, what if he thinks it is only right to do the things he does. What if his conscience is staying nice and quiet? What if he Can really enjoy all of his possessions he got from cheating his business partners and the pretty girlfriend he stole from his best friend and still sleep around with a smile on his face.?


And.


What if?


At old age before he dies he comes to God and repents and its all good. He gets to heaven to stay with the long haired dude and to sing with the angel choir.
We all are REALLY happy if we picture that kind of example, right? I mean the guy gets to heaven, that´s what only matters, right? So he did a little wrong stuff along the way, but we don´t care about little things like that, right?


I don´t know, I think I have to admit thinking about story like that eats me inside like a little rat. Guess it is because it makes the life sound very unfair. The one doing the all the wrong things enjoys his life and ends up at the same place we do. Getting the same reward as we do. Thou we are the ones who do it "right", the hard way.


Why is that? Why does it feel so unfair?
Do we secretly wonder if it really could be possible to for us too to do all that and still get to the finnish line? Is it that we choose the hard way all in vain? Could we really be less "good" and still get the best results?


What if?


The reason we choose to live the life as we think is "right", as the big book tells us to is not because we really believe it is the only right way to make it thru this thing called life, but it really is because we´re being afraid? Afraid of our own conscience eating us alive or of the punishment waiting there at the very end. You know, if "the life" doesn´t get us, eventually God will. And WE don´t wanna be there, right?


But if we do so, if we choose the "narrow" road just because of we´re afraid of the punishment, are we really trusting God? If we really trust God is good and he ONLY wants the best for us we should just be able to believe the "narrow" way IS the best way. That living your life God´s way really IS the best way to live it.
Maybe, and propably, not the easiest way (wouldn´t be called narrow otherwise would it?) but the only right way for us and our hearts and souls. And that is the reason it eventually is the happiest way too. Even with all the normal miseries of life.


What if?


We really started to believe what God says. That he only wants us good. That when he says no to something he does it for our best. If we did that, there would be no us pointing at others who are not walking the walk as we think is right and us saying: "Can he really do that and still think he´s getting to heaven?"(and secretly thinking: "Could i really do that too and still get to heaven? Am i really being this strict for no real reason?")


If we honestly believe the God´s way is the best way, we shouldn´t really give a Ponys crap of what others do or dont do. We do the things our way because we just KNOW it is the best way to do it. It is not about a list of " cant do these´s". Its more like a sign saying "follow this and you will get much more than you ever would from the list of those dont do´s". And yeah, it´s okay to be sorry about those who dont get it, or follow the path we´re on. Its their own loss. Sorry for them but it´s their own stupidity. We really don´t need to secretly envy them, there´s nothing to be envious about. They just dont get to live it to the fullest meaning of life, as God has ment it for us. Hope they get their eyes opened soon enough But WE are on the right way, and we can just count on it.


It may be a dirt road and seem a little bumpy and not really that good compared to that great highway starting right next to it. But do we REALLY trust the local Guy who tells us the dirt road is the greatest road of all, even though it really doesn´t look like it?
If we do decide to trust Him and start down the road we´ll find out that after the couple of first curves it actually runs right along the coast of this turquoise sea with these majestic cliffs hanging on it and we get to see these unbelievably b-e-a-utiful sunsets and travel under the dark blue sky with millions of stars and a bloodred full moon. And suddenly we notice the road doesn´t even feel that bumpy anymore.. At that point, do we really wish we had chosen the highway instead and the nice and easy drive with all the other cars. Do we really wonder if the local Guy was wrong and we shoul have taken the highway instead..?
Which road is the one doing good to your soul, your inner self. Which way to travel is better for you, the you that matters? The easy way, or the way that makes your heart feel alive?


What if?